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7 Steps To Quickly Regain Confidence After You’ve Been Rejected By A Prospect

regain confidence after rejectionIf you’ve had a proposal that’s been rejected, it can be enough to make you want to turn off the radio if the wrong song comes on.

Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face;
Brush off the clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face.

Sometimes, you just don’t want to put on a happy face.

Particularly if you’ve been rejected by a prospect. And you did all the right work and said all the right things.

It can be particularly painful if this is a big contract, or if you’ve been working on it a long time.

It can downright hurt if you feel that all of your intellect in helping to shape the work is now being used by some other consultant or expert.

Maybe they rejected you because of price. Or the new buyer is trying to exert their authority. Or there’s some political game. Or one of the directors is insisting that they use their wife’s cousin who was just retrenched (true story).

Sometimes it’s just outside of your sphere of influence and control.

It is gut wrenching. And humiliating.

Just deflating really.

But if you want to stay in business, then you have to figure out how to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on that prospecting pony.

Here’s the best set of steps that I’ve found that my clients now use to help themselves get over the pain and make themselves confident again.

Use These Steps In Order:

  1. Ask yourself if they really rejected you or your proposal. And truth be told, unless there were swear words and a security guard called in, they actually rejected your proposal. There’s no call to make it unnecessarily personal.
  2. Do an honest assessment. Was the rejection of your proposal entirely outside of your spheres of control and influence?
  3. Regardless of whether it was inside or outside those spheres, was there anything that you did especially well during this proposal phase? Was there anything that perhaps you would change if you were in the same situation again?
  4. Go back and read through your brag file where you keep your testimonials and letters of thanks.  These will remind you of the good work that you do when you do land a client and make a significant contribution.
  5. Set up a project or contract review with a current or recent client. This will give you tangible feedback of the value of your work. You’ll feel better about yourself and the quality of the work that you do.
  6. Go for a long walk. The real beauty and depth of thinking from repetitive activity only starts to emerge after about seventy-to-ninety minutes of walking. I personally find that about forty minutes is enough just to get the top level of noise away. As you walk, reflect on your goals. Remember why you want them and why they are important to you.
  7. Pick up the telephone and call a couple of prospects. Be genuinely curious as to how they are and what is going on for them. Ask if they’d like to have a longer conversation about how you might be able to contribute.

The best way to get out of a funk and back feeling good about yourself is to take action. Even the smallest of actions reminds you that your primary locus of control is inside you.

All my best,
Abbie x


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